Thursday, May 11, 2006


I was trying to avoid thoughts of Mother's Day. I didn't want to head into a depression/mania/mixed state (I can never predict these things until they happen) so I'd been trying to avoid the stress...

Too fucking late. Mixed state. Ungh.

I've got this strong urge to tell my mother exactly what I think of her. I've been holding this in for close to four years now - it's part of why I hardly ever talk to her, and only talk about the cats when I do. I try to remain civil with her because I've got a father and two siblings I'd like to keep in contact with, as I still, y'know, like them.

The fact that this whole rift between my mother and myself started with her own mother's death really does not help the whole Mother's Day thing. Oh, and there's the fact that I got my bipolar disorder from Mom but she won't get help for it or anything, despite the fact that both her brother and me, her daughter, have gone on meds and are better for it. Usually.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. I won't be good for anything until Monday, I bet.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Note to self:

Do not create yet another little niche for yourself on the internet and abandon it after the first day or two. AGAIN. This is your blog, USE IT.


Sunday, April 09, 2006

Me? Blog? Naaaaah.

I've got an ear infection, I think.

Lovely way to start a blog, isn't it? I've been thrown far enough off-balance that I'm following the herd like a good little ewe and sticking all my random thoughts out here in Internet-land.

And believe me, my thoughts can get pretty damn random.

Don't worry, I'll try to see a doctor tomorrow about the infection. I think it might've started in my throat or my ouchy molar, so a course of antibiotics might be a good thing for my whole ear-nose-throat region. I'd like to use a fancy word for that, but the fancy word doesn't seem to exist. Damn.